Dr. Eli W. Rockmell weighs the least, in terms of the metric system, out of all the staff at Syphilitic Mermaids Magazine. Her small body would probably crack in your hands. Eli and Jiminy Sinner (who also works as SM²'s accountant/occasional contributor) , rent a large, furnished, 150 k² underground research and industrial lab in the province of Quebec, the center of which is situated beneath the parking lot of Montreal's CBC building. Here, the unlikely pair are often found on weekends between social obligations; inventing, plotting, combining science with radical politics, and splicing obscure physics-based jokes into trans-national radio feeds.